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Anonymous asked: Where do i submit my submissive application, sir?


Off of Anonymous. :p

But really, what?

— 8 hours ago with 1 note
Mushroom Kingdom Report 3: Put Up or Shut Up

This dorky, dorky project of mine is well underway. A couple people sent me asks about posting the damn chapter already, but I can’t do that yet. Though I can confirm that the first World (roughly three chapters) includes cameos from Super Smash Bros., Nights into Dreams, Mario Kart, The Legend of ZeldaTales of SymphoniaRival Schools, River City Ransom, Touhou, Persona 3, The King of Fighters, Kirby, Kingdom Hearts, Street Fighter III, and NBA Jam.

I can also confirm that the first line of dialogue after the prologue is:

You’ve suffered a horrible fate, haven’t you?

— 16 hours ago
#mushroom kingdom  #the legend of zelda 
Mushroom Kingdom Report 2: Why write someone else’s characters?


As I steamroll ahead with Mushroom Kingdom, I occasionally ask myself the same question: “Why write about characters someone else owns?” I answer with the following:

  • No one owns these characters. As long as there are new stories to tell, they belong to us all. Retro games are modern fairy tales. The adventures of Mario, Mega Man, Link, and Pitt can be twisted any number of ways and still keep their childlike magic. Who wouldn’t want to write in such a vibrant and versatile genre?
  • The narrative options and political implications of Bowser’s conquering the Mushroom Kingdom are staggering. How did he do it? What does his rule look like? Is he doing it for the evulz or does he have his reasons? What is the Koopa culture like?
  • No matter which continuity you prescribe to, The Legend of Zelda is inherently a tragic tale, in which two friends doomed to fight a meaningless war over and over and over. Princess Zelda is a smart woman. She has to know that her life is predetermined to suck, so how does she cope with the weight of the world on her shoulders?
  • Moogles!
  • Love ‘em or hate ‘em, the women of gaming need some better characterization. Yes, even Samus.
  • Just what are Master Hand and Crazy Hand anyway?
  • The rivalry between Dr. Light and Dr. Wiley is actually an emotionally heavy sci-fi story, dealing with a slew of ethical issues. It’s a storyteller’s goldmine.
  • I get to write the line: “Pichu,” pichued Pichu.
— 2 days ago
#mushroom kingdom  #nintendo  #super mario  #zelda  #final fantasy  #pokemon  #Pichu  #pichu-pi  #pi  #pichu!!! 
"There’s fanfiction for that? Really?"
Me on way too late at night.
— 3 days ago with 1 note

You partied this weekend? That’s nice. I blew bubbles at a kitten.

— 3 days ago with 1 note




friendly reminder that!! self diagnosis is just as good as a professional diagnosis and saying that it isnt is classist and ableist uwu


I have cancer. Your post gave me cancer. That is my self diagnosis and will be sending you the million dollar medical bills shortly.

(via awkwardgaydude)

— 4 days ago with 17855 notes
Mushroom Kingdom Report 1: Chomp chomp photosynthesis

Some acquaintances are actually pretty interested in the project, so leading up to posting (it might take a little while,) I’ll be dropping tidbits to keep myself motivated enough to finish it.

Today at work, I rewrote the protagonists’ first encounter with a Piranha Plant. Is anyone who’s ever owned a Nintendo console not afraid of these things?

To pull off the sequence, I copied the feeling a child gets when playing Super Mario 64 for the first time, coming across this beast and thinking “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!” It sets a much darker tone for the series than I originally intended. Before, I was going for a mood reminiscent of a Mario game, upbeat and a little silly, but still sweeping. After this scene it’s suddenly become more Zelda. I wouldn’t call it “dark,” it’s still swashbuckling, but with a tablespoon of fear and melancholy. This should be interesting.


— 4 days ago with 1 note
#mario  #zelda  #mushroom kingdom 

Not a bad place to set up camp…

Good times with Sauron


Not a bad place to set up camp…

Good times with Sauron

(via grassandclass)

— 4 days ago with 51604 notes
Bored at work. Someone kik/snapchat me or else!
Kik: avoltia
Snapchat: Allyxv

Bored at work. Someone kik/snapchat me or else!
Kik: avoltia
Snapchat: Allyxv

— 4 days ago with 1 note
#kik  #snapchat  #raleigh  #nc  #north carolina 

So I decided to go ahead and write it. Let’s see where this goes.

Mushroom Kingdom could be the fanfic to end all fanfics.

— 5 days ago with 6 notes
#mushroom kingdom  #mario  #donkey kong  #kid icarus  #mega man  #the legend of zelda  #zelda  #tomb raider  #final fantasy  #halo  #sonic  #sonic the hedgehog 


You’re too sweet, gray ball with sunglasses. I’m feeling a little more encouraged now.

— 1 week ago
Anonymous asked: Biologically, does a girl pee through her clitoris?



stay in school kids

— 1 week ago with 55 notes